March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, and let me tell you, I have been incredibly aware of my Cerebral Palsy in these last few weeks.
Of my two disabilities, my Cerebral Palsy, it seems, has been more disruptive in my adult life. I am always tired, often fatigued, and experience chronic pain. Some days, this pain comes in blows that seize my muscles captive to immobility. This week has been filled to the brim with days punctuated by this pain. And in my pain, I keep reflecting on Christ's healing of the paralyzed man at the pool of Bethesda.
The English Standard (ESV) translation of the Bible recounts the miracle as follows:
(John 5:1-8)
"Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be healed?' The sick man answered him, 'Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.' Jesus said to him, 'Get up, take up your bed, and walk.' And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked."
Jesus and the man interact again, in verses 13 through verse 15.
"Now the man who had been healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had withdrawn, as there was a crowd in the place. Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, 'See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had healed him."
I empathize with the paralyzed man. We know from the text that he was with many others who have disabilities, and that he was considered sick and an outcast. Those who know about Disability history in the United States might see many similarities to modern society. For many years, people with disabilities were placed in institutions or "colonies" where they were locked away from the rest of the world. People were sterilized, abused, and often forced to live in their own filth. People were often denied adequate medical attention and dignity. This was legal until the 1970s, when the Independent Living Movement began to demand basic human rights for people with disabilities.
I empathize with the paralyzed man because, in many ways, society continues to segregate people with disabilities -- in its attitudes, fears, structural barriers and lack of opportunity. Like the paralyzed man, I understand what it feels like to be pitied or ignored because of false perceptions about my physical limitations. I understand the feeling of helplessness associated with physical pain and immobility.
But, much as I empathize with the man who received the miracle, today, I am compelled to think on the One who bestowed it.
The miracle at Bethesda signifies so much about the character of God, and how we are to respond as followers of Christ.
When Jesus healed the paralyzed man, He showcased not only His benevolence, but also His commitment to making all things new, and to reverse the physical and spiritual effects of a world that is broken and marred by original sin. Christ has come to heal. Heal our hearts. Heal our minds. Heal our bodies and our world. Though I will not experience physical healing on this side of eternity, I am assured that Christ is working in me and through me, daily, to heal my heart, renew my mind, and build my strength through faith in Him. In reading this passage of Scripture, I am assured that there will be a day when all things are restored, both physically and spiritually, and I yearn for that day.
The healing at Bethesda signifies Christ's holiness and power. It shows that Jesus is the sovereign God and Messiah that the world longs for. He commands that the paralyzed man get up, walk, and sin no more. Christ’s act of physical healing is directly connected with His adamant disapproval of sin. As Christians, we are not healed and cleansed to continue in our old ways of life, or to pursue the sinful ways of the world. In Christ, we are given new hearts, new minds, new desires, and the new freedom to struggle with the difficulties of our imperfect world and imperfect bodies and minds.
Jesus has three commands for the paralyzed man in this particular passage of Scripture, and I believe that these are critically important to my understanding of how to interact with my Cerebral Palsy, especially on days when it literally takes my breath away because of pain and frustration.
1. "Get up. (Take up your bed.)"
2. "Walk."
3. "Sin no more."
Hearing the call of Christ to “Sin no more!” grounds me in the stern reality of why I believe in Jesus to begin with. My sin is great and abysmally present, but His Mercy is more. He calls me out of sin, and into life with him, with every breath, every heartbeat. He is making me new, sanctifying me by the Holy Spirit. I am called to live a life that is abundant -- not because of my merits, but because of his mercy.
Hearing the call of Christ to "Get up, take up your bed!" is a command that is so challenging, yet exactly what I need to hear on days when I'd much rather give up, and hide in my bed. And, of course, there are moments when I rest in my pain and self-pity, and I grapple with the reality of a disabled body. But Christ doesn't want to me to live there. “Get up!” Get up, live life, worship my Savior with all that I am!
Hearing the command from Christ to “Walk!”, propels me to action; not only to physically walk through my day, (sometimes in staggered, imbalanced steps), but also to walk in my profession as a social worker and counselor, to walk alongside my clients who are struggling with the very same doubts, struggles and barriers related to their own disabilities. To walk alongside my husband. To walk alongside my family and friends, and community. And most importantly it is a command to walk with the Lord, humbly following Him all the days of my life.
God is so very good.
