My dream about Tony Perkins – December 15, 2010
*AUTHOR'S NOTE: I always have the strangest dreams. I think this one comes from the fact that I have been cramming my mind with Biology (you'll see this represented in the mention of human gestation/pregnancy), thinking about publishing my writing (I feel my subconciois gave poet Mary Karr a shout out when, in my dream, Tony talks about babies being no bigger than a bite of burger. I think Mary wote a poem about that.), and the fact that last night as a study break, I watched Anthony Perkins playing a cute college kid in the romantic comedy, "Tall Story". Also, this dream was written right after it happened, so it's not my best work, but it makes me laugh. Also, the dream ends where it does because at that moment, I was woken up at 7:44am. by a woman who had a wrong number. She thought I was Kim, and she was telling me to tell Jim something about a freezer. Weird. So, here's my dream....I hope it amuses you! :) *
Snow swirled around the twinkling lights that hung above the frosted windows. Made to look like a cozy, secluded cabin in the woods, this restaurant planted in the middle of a busy stretch of McDonald’s and Wendy’s, seemed out of place, but I was glad that we could get out of the cold, and enjoy a nice dinner before heading back and cramming for the rest of our exams.
Tony parked his little green Bug, sloshing it up against the snow bank. He turned off the car, and settled back against the seat. His short, silky dark hair caught the glow of the winter moonlight, and smiling at me, he leaned over and pecked my cheek, warming me from head to toe. Oh, how I loved him! But there was something behind that smile; it didn’t quite reach his dark brown eyes, and it told me that he wasn’t altogether happy. The nervousness that lingered below his charming exterior worried me. I knew that he could get so wound up, so anxious, and I was uncertain of how I would handle him if he had one of those episodes again.
We got out of the car, and together walked, hand in hand to the restaurant. A nice couple walked in ahead of us, and the gentleman held the door open for Tony and me. Tony just stood there. Underneath the glow of the restaurant’s light, I looked up at him. His tall, skinny frame was covered only in a stylish grey sweater and dark, denim slacks. I was always worried about his health – that man never ate anything – and now without a coat, I was worried that he would just catch a death of cold out there in the December snow. Plus, I thought it was rude and awkward that he was just standing there, especially because that other couple was waiting for us.
“Anthony,” I grabbed his hand again. “let’s go inside.”
He stiffened. “I –I don’t want to. Not yet.”
Oh, dear. “Well, you can’t just stand here, letting all the cold air in. Plus, these nice people are waiting to come in. Come on. I think my parents are right over there. I’m sorry!” I smiled at the couple who were waiting, and I let them shuffle past us. Anthony still didn’t move.
“I – I think I’ve changed my mind. I’m n-not very hungry, you know,” he stuttered.
I sighed and grabbed his hand, practically yanking him behind me. I directed our paths to a booth where my parents sat with another couple.
“Tony!” The man who sat across from my father turned around and reached out to shake my boyfriend’s hand. "How are you, my boy? Does your mother still own that old motel?"
Tony stiffly nodded – it seemed more like a jerk of the head. “Yes, -uh, H-hello. Good to see you. Um, darling,” he cleared his throat and directed his attention back to me. “I – I think I’ll go sit over there where your brothers are, if you-you don’t mind.”
Before I could respond, he slipped past me, placing his hands on my shoulders for the briefest moment as he left. I watched him practically fold himself in half to get into that tiny booth, his long legs crowding under the table.
“Hey, what’s the matter with Tony tonight?” my mother inquired.
“Yes,” the man who had originally spoken to Tony agreed. “I haven’t sen him since he graduated high school, and I wanted to see how he was fairing. It’s good to see alumni back in these parts again.”
“Oh, you know,” I smiled. “End of term finals, things like that. He’s fine.”
I really had no idea, so I left my comments there, and joined the trio of boys at the table. My brothers had already ordered their meal, and were close to finishing once the waitress finally came to take our orders. As we waited for our food, Tony and I laughed together with my brothers, chatting about Christmas-y things. It all seemed to e going very well, until --
“Let me see that last bit of burger, there,” Tony began and before anyone could object, he reached across the table, and with his long, delicate pale fingers, he plucked the grizzled and gnawed bit of burger off of my brother’s plate. My eyes widened when Tony took this deformed piece of food, and held it against my abdomen, the grease clinging to the wool of my sweater.
“Um, Anthony? W-what are you doing?”
‘Do you see this piece of burger?” Tony began as he spread his fingers over my belly. “This bite of burger is no bigger than what an embryo will be in your uterus in a matter of weeks. Of course, assuming implantation occurs. ” (*side note: OH MY GOSH!!!! I HATE Biology!)
“What??”
“Did you ask your mother about birth control pills?”
“Tony!!” I gasped as I looked at my brothers wildly. Their expressions were that of shock and discomfort. “No, I didn’t ask her, and I mean – why would – just no!”
“Well, you’ll need to ask her,” he began matter-of-factly. I really didn't like his insistant tone. “Because I’m moving in tonight and the sooner you get them, the better; we can’t take any chances of you getting pregnant.”
“Um – No! Tony, this is a really inappropriate conversation to be having in front of my brothers. Plus, just because you’re moving in, doesn’t mean that we’re going to start having sex. I never said that. And even if we did, how is it that you’re so confident that you would get me pregnant right away, anyway?”
He chuckled as he laid aside the burger. “Well, darling,” he took my hand in both of his, beaming that smile of his. It reached his eyes this time. “I know that you’re a bookworm extraordinaire, and that an educated woman like yourself has little time or interest for any sort of recreation, but I was hoping I could…p-persuade you.”
He only faltered on the last two words.
“Well, I –I don’t know….” My words faded to nothing as the waiter came with our meals. Suddenly, my double cheeseburger with the works and onion rings didn’t seem appealing at all.
Tony Perkins: Man of my dreams...or at least this dream! :)
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